The legend of Santa Paws says that he brings gifts, dog toys, and treats to good dogs, pets, and even (some) cats. Apparently, he watches your every move…and knows when you are good or bad, awake or asleep, and even when you pee on the carpet. Actually, it only matters what you do near Christmas (at least that is what I think) because I get a ton of presents every year. Santa Paws claims to have spies everywhere; actually, I think that he naps most of the year and does little watching until a few weeks before Christmas. Here are some of my tips for getting the most doggie presents in your stocking and under your tree.
- Pretend to like your siblings. If you have sound-loving-Norman for a brother this might be hard to do. The best solution is to stay away from your sibling most of the time…then when you have to be around them wag your tail and sniff their butt a lot.
- Remember to pee and poop outside. Not inside on the indoor dog potty. I know this might be hard for some of you…but all you have to do is watch where you relieve yourself for a few weeks. If you want extra points make sure you poop on the neighbor’s lawn…woops…I do not think that is going to get you extra points.
- Make sure to let your parents know when the UPS driver, mail carrier, FedEx driver, etc. come. Also, make friends with these drivers because you never know they might be one of Santa Paws’ spies.
- When you grab your mom or dad’s underwear and run outside with it…make sure you do not show it to the neighbor. Remember you only need to do this for a few weeks — the rest of the year it is perfect canine behavior!
- I have no idea why people like to hug, but they do. So lean on everyone you meet, smile, and wag. They think that you are hugging and will be sure to put in a good word with that Santa guy.
- Remember to bark with your friends. However, if people are around remember that you do NOT have to have the last bark.
- When you go to the dog park with people who use hands free leashes make sure you do not pee on people…they are not trees! I have to mention this one because it happened to our mom and she had to drive us home in the van with another dog’s pee down the back of her pants. Actually, guys you should remember this one all year long.
- This is your lucky day because I am going to tell you my very best secret. Don’t eat all of your food. If you can…don’t even come to a meal. Then your parents will think that there is something wrong with you — when they looked concerned just give them those sad puppy dog eyes and think “I need MORE toys”. Before you know it, they will be on the computer looking for more toys, before Santa Paws comes to town.
- You never know who is spying for Santa Paws, so be nice to (nice) strangers. Let them pet & hug you. Do not jump up on them; however, it is ok to give them a big kiss if they get close enough. I do not recommend extended kissing though. If they are bad strangers make sure you keep your family safe and make them go away.
- I know that this is a hard one; however, do not wake your parents up more than once a night. I know that sometimes outside can be more fun than watching your parents sleep. Nevertheless, you really should not wake them up more than once a night. It does not count if you bug your brother and he wakes them up, it only counts against you if you personally wake them up. By the way, it is not a good idea to bark directly in their ear when you are trying to wake them up…it is fun though.
I hope that these tips help fill your stocking and puts lots of dog toys under your Christmas tree. If you need help finding great toys for your Santa Paws list — you can go to BestFriendsGeneralStore.com for lots of great ideas…or if your are naughty, you might want to shop there for yourself.
PS Dear Santa Paws,
If you are reading this I really, really love you. If you were here, I would lean on your leg and give you a big lick. Please remember my favorite brother, Norman. I think he would like a quiet toy this year. I know that sometimes it looks like I might be a bit bossy, rude, and not listen to my parents…but that is all for show. I know my parents know everything about everything, and I always (try) to listen to them. Unfortunately, they are just not perfect like you and me.